I personally don’t know anyone who isn’t thoroughly sick of those E*trade commercials by now. You know the ones I’m referring to – the ads with the talking baby. This digitally-assisted tot is preternaturally glib when it comes to financial matters, but banking experts are cautioning consumers that you definitely shouldn’t choose an online investment firm based on the relative cuteness of its mascot (which goes for car insurance, too, but that’s a story for another post). It should be obvious to anyone with two eyes in its head, but E*Trade is actually offering the WORST returns right now on CDs of all rates. That’s really saying something, in this economy.
E*Trade claims to have “high yield” returns on its certificates of deposit, but it obviously is working with an entirely different definition of “high” than we are. A five year certificate with the firm is currently paying out a lame 1.10% APR, 0.10% APR for a one year, 0.05% for a six month, and 0.01% for a three month CD. Methinks that if your interest yield is a fraction of a percent, maybe you should just stick with a savings account, where at least you can withdraw your money at any time without penalty!
It can only be believed that Chase is hoping existing CD customers will just roll over their certificates automatically and not pay attention to rates, since it is impossible to assume that anyone paying attention would settle for rates this abysmally low, even in a terrible economy!
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